If God is my Lover, Why is my bed so cold? Prologue Part 2

Single, Saved, But Surely Not Satisfied

Prologue (Pt. 2) Continued...

I was tired of smiling across tables at couples at retreats and conferences and then going to my quiet room. I was tired of marking the boxes marked "Ms." or "Miss" on documents. I wanted to be "Mrs.-Whoever-Was-Out-There-For-Me". I wanted a change of life and I was determined that I would devise a way to show God that I was prepared.

I kept hearing folks say that verse that's seared in all of our minds: "But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you, as well." (Matt. 6:33 NIV) I jumped up, ecstatic that I had "figured it out". I would plunge myself fully into ministry work and just do it all. I would plan programs, counsel the lonely, pray for the sick. Hey, if I did all of that – I was sure that God would see that I was totally sold out for Him. So that is what I did. Like that persistent child, I went to Him again. Nothing. Same result.

Unfortunately, waiting led to foolish rebellions and unequally-yoked relationships. I felt myself slipping with men who were surely not sent from God. My goodness, it was as though The Enemy went shopping and handpicked ones just for me; shined them up real good with intelligent conversation; taught them a few scriptures; gave them some charisma and then said, "Go get her boy!" They almost did get me. Thank God that in the midst of my foolishness, the Holy Spirit opened my eyes to the truth – opened eyes that wanted to stay shut. "A half a loaf of bread is better than none", I heard one Pastor say. What a sad untruth because what happens is that the loaf gets stale real fast. It gets old and is as unhealthy as a dead-end relationship. Both my spiritual and physical lives were being affected. I felt as though I was dying inside. My desire for companionship would doom me to eternal loneliness unless a change came.

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Come back tomorrow to see what happens next!