POTENT PRAISE

Prologue (If God is my lover, why is my bed so cold? by Olivia Stith)

Single, Saved, But Surely Not Satisfied

If one more married person had explained to me how blessed I was to be single, I was going to scream. What was so blessed about it? No one to play "footsie" with over an evening dinner. No warm hands to playfully pull a remote control from while watching my favorite show. Not even a soul to pull the covers off of me at night. "Where was the blessing?", I wondered. In those moments, I usually flashed a superficial smile as I thought to myself how easy it must have been for them to tell me how content I should be when they were going home to a warm body and a handsome man.

I constantly replayed those thoughts. Personally, I was becoming frustrated. In my heart, I thought that I was doing everything for the sake of my love for Christ, yet it seemed like my works were going unmerited. Hey, I deserved happiness – didn't I? I felt cheated.

Since God knows all things, I know God knew this. My problem was in the fact that He didn't seem to be bothered by my murmuring. I would act like a little child who tries to convince their parent to buy a toy. I would do some work or ministry program and then go to my secret closet and pray, all wide eyed with anticipation looking to heaven saying, "Okay, God. I did this. Now… now… can I have my man? You see how I ministered Your Word. Lord, You know I love ya." (I had to throw my loving wink at him, too). Oh yes, I did that many times. Shoot, I did that many years! Still nothing changed.

As each day passed, my marital status remained the same. Single, saved and Lord knows not satisfied. I would cringe in my seat on Sundays listening to my fellow sisters testify about how happy they were in Jesus alone. "Really?", I wondered. What did my sister know that I didn't? Was there some spiritual formula to being single and happy? Where does she eat? Who does she talk to at night? Was she sane? Somebody tell me!

©2006-2007 Olivia Stith All Rights Reserved

Come back tomorrow to see what happens next!